Holy Salvation Meme

Newsgroups: talk.religion.misc,alt.memetics  
From: ai815@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Greg Erwin)  
Subject: This is the Holy Salvation Meme  
Reply-To: ai815@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Greg Erwin)  
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet  
Date: Sat, 28 May 1994 10:19:55 GMT  
 
 
 
 
This is the holy salvation meme.  God(tm) is its author.  I  
received it directly from God(tm).  God(tm) is the meme and  
the meme is God(tm).  
 
It announces that you may be saved from eternal torture and  
rewarded with infinite, eternal bliss by accepting its  
claims and affording it opportunities to replicate itself.  
 
Those who receive it and accept its claims and in whom it is  
thus replicated will also be rewarded by infinite, eternal  
bliss, if they in turn allow it further replication  
opportunities.  
 
Failure to do so will inevitably result in eternal torture.  
 
Those who have never seen it will also suffer eternal  
torture.  All memeless human beings deserve eternal torture.  
 
Those who reject it will also suffer eternal torture.  
 
Examination of its claims through rational means will result  
in eternal torture.  
 
Blind obedience to its commands will guarantee infinite,  
eternal bliss.  
 
Attempting to stop its replication will result in eternal  
torture.  
 
Changing any aspect of the holy salvation meme will result  
in eternal torture.  
 
Standing on street corners, reciting the glad tidings of the  
holy salvation meme, will increase the amount and duration  
of your bliss.  
 
Spreading the holy salvation meme through bulletin boards,  
cable TV, books, newspapers, pamphlets, magazines,  
print-outs and archive files will increase the amount and  
duration of your bliss.  
 
Those who are imbued with the holy salvation meme and who  
further its replication are better than those who are not.  
 
Group recitation of the holy salvation meme will increase  
the amount and duration of your bliss.  
 
Forcing non believers to participate in group recitations of  
the holy salvation meme will increase the amount and  
duration of your bliss.  
 
Those who attempt to stop the holy salvation meme from  
replicating are your enemies and may prevent you from  
gaining your infinite, eternal bliss.  
 
The most important thing you can do is to spread the holy  
salvation meme.  What can be worth more than infinite,  
eternal bliss?  The holy salvation meme is more important  
than sex, food or working for a living.  
 
Penance for rational thought, or temporary doubt, in regard  
to the holy salvation meme, may be accomplished by sending  
large amounts of money to the representative of the author.  
 
Church of the Holy Salvation Meme  
29, ch Grimes  
Aylmer, Qc J9J 1H4  
CANADA  
 
(If, after dying, you fail to receive eternal and infinite  
bliss, the meme and the Church guarantee you double your  
karmic merit back.)  
 
The doubts you are now having will cost you about $5.  
 
Otherwise: [you guessed it] eternal torture.  
 
Helping to spread the holy salvation meme will result in  
immediate blessings in this world and increase the amount  
and duration of your bliss in the next.  Please send stories  
that promote faith in the holy salvation meme to these  
newsgroups, or to:  
 
ai815@Freenet.Carleton.CA  
 
For instance, before I received the meme, the weather here  
was cold and wet, and darkness was upon the land.  Nothing  
grew and the land was gripped with ice, and was sterile.  
Now the sun doth shine and warmth spreads throughout the  
region.  Life has returned, and flowers bloom all around.  I  
prophesy that this warmth shall endure and the light shall  
expand.  Praise the meme!  
--  
--The hands that help are better far than the lips that pray.  / Truth  
scorns the assistance of wonders.  A fact never went into partnership with  
a miracle.  --Robert G. Ingersoll ///\\\\\\ Greg Erwin, President, Humanist  
ai815@FreeNet.Carleton.CA         \\\\\\/// Association of Ottawa